When people disappear from my life, I thought I wronged them in some way… it’s not the disappearance that caused me the pain, I was waiting for that final conversation, a word, or a goodbye… as the time went by, I kept thinking of them because they are my demons, they are my friends, they are my enemies & they are the constant in my thinking brain. I wonder if they are alive or dead, if they got married, if they have children or & I imagine the good, bad & the ugly scenarios that might have happened to them…
As the time went by, I understood to deal with pain, move on with life & never learned the lesson. I always give the same warmth & love for every relationship. Maybe I am wired this way to spread love & happiness. Maybe I should learn to trust less in people or accept the fact that people will move on.
i was alone until they showed up & I was alone when they left… I come home one night & switch the lights in house. I listened to the quite & emptiness … sometimes that emptiness is not an enemy, it is the reminder that I am free. Free from any kind of bond to this materialistic or non-materialistic world.
I smile, make a meal, listen to some music & enjoy that moments of freedom .
I hear you, Raghav. I think what we look for is closure, but we don’t always get it in all relationships. I know this sounds cliché, but the best relationship and the one we can control the most is the one we have with ourselves.
This is truly hard hitting, Raghav.
I can sense that feeling as though it’s as fresh as yesterday. Sometimes, goodbyes happen without the last word.. that hurts even more. When people just move away, without even giving us the dignity of knowing what went wrong.
I have had friends help me at the worst times and then holding me accountable to those times with unrealistic expectations that I could not return. I couldn’t express that I would eternally be grateful to them but they had no right to control the payoff. They just disappeared, leaving a huge burden on my head.
Sigh!