When people disappear from my life, I thought I wronged them in some way… it’s not the disappearance that caused me the pain, I was waiting for that final conversation, a word, or a goodbye… as the time went by, I kept thinking of them because they are my demons, they are my friends, they are my enemies & they are the constant in my thinking brain. I wonder if they are alive or dead, if they got married, if they have children or & I imagine the good, bad & the ugly scenarios that might have happened to them…
As the time went by, I understood to deal with pain, move on with life & never learned the lesson. I always give the same warmth & love for every relationship. Maybe I am wired this way to spread love & happiness. Maybe I should learn to trust less in people or accept the fact that people will move on.
i was alone until they showed up & I was alone when they left… I come home one night & switch the lights in house. I listened to the quite & emptiness … sometimes that emptiness is not an enemy, it is the reminder that I am free. Free from any kind of bond to this materialistic or non-materialistic world.
I smile, make a meal, listen to some music & enjoy that moments of freedom .