You Got a EGO

There are days when I feel trapped in a specific time and place, and today is one of those days. I’ve come to realize that I struggle with confrontation, whether it’s with family, friends, or in professional relationships. It seems there’s always another perspective, yet no one is willing to truly listen and understand the pain I’m going through, or acknowledge that there’s my side of the story. Most of the time, I keep these emotions bottled up inside, and over the years, it has taken a toll on my body and soul. As they say, our memories and emotions can manifest physically, and perhaps the illnesses I’ve experienced in my thirties are a result of this emotional burden.

Over the years, I’ve participated in multiple healing programs, but there’s always a lingering trace that brings me back to the root cause of things. It’s like the lyrics of “Hotel California” suggest—you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave. I believe that no matter what, there’s always a remnant of a memory that can trigger and bring these feelings back to the surface.

This morning, I vented my frustration. I should have stayed quiet and simply walked away when things started heating up, but I didn’t listen to my inner voice. I wanted to make my voice heard and assert my point strongly. I was told that I have a big ego. If expressing that my small desires are unfulfilled is considered ego, I’m unsure how to respond at this point. So, I chose to walk away.

All I need is a quiet life, fulfilling work, and small desires that can bring me joy. I am tired, but I haven’t lost hope yet.

Until next time!