No Next Time

March 13th is World Kidney Day. As someone who has gone through kidney failure in my early thirties, been on dialysis, and then received a transplant through the donor program, I am grateful for the blessings I received. When I was on dialysis and going through a lot of trauma, I thought if I get another 6 months of good life, I want to make it up… just get to things I was putting off and live life once more. It has been 3 years since my transplant, and I can say with certainty: live your life now. There is no next time or later. If you are spending time working to prove yourself, then also remember this: no one cares. No one comes to be with you when you are broken mentally and physically; no one showed up at my bedside, none of those whom I considered friends or those whom I worked with…

It was a lonely and brutal journey. Today, I live each moment with joy and mindfulness that it is a solitary game. I practice mindfulness, speak positively, and work on my personality each day. I have a lot of faults that I need to correct, and each day I try to better myself and how I am with others. I also understood that relationships come and go with time, and along with that, I need to move on too.

Things that caused me a lot of anxiety and panic earlier do not affect me as much now. This is due to the habits I put in place in the last year. When next time God shows up and tells me that it is time to go, I believe that I am ready now.

As I realized, there are always a lot of things to be done, and there is no good time to die.

Until next time, this is Raghava signing off.