Sometimes, I go through a lot of disability fatigue. Being blind did not make me feel that I am disabled in any way. However, after my organ failure and the subsequent hospital visits, dialysis, transplant, and post-transplant care make me feel that I am limited in abilities on some days. There are a lot of things where I need sight to help me with medication, get the right food, undergo regular blood checks, and have consultations with my doctor. The noise of the external world, such as negative news, construction, vehicles honking continuously, loud music, and a bunch of other things makes me depressed. The medications are a cause of much of this, so I try to balance my dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins with mindfulness, walks, and doing random activities like folding clothes, cleaning my wardrobe, etc.
However, all the time, these coping mechanisms do not always help and sometimes make me go all the way into the dark hole. It makes me feel that I am limited, dependent on others, and the inner voice always speaks that I am not able to get things done. Instead of fighting this wave of tides, I tend to let them take over and play with my mind and body because I’ve realized that fighting them makes me feel worse.
In a day or two, I get back to a better state. Removing coffee, tea, snacks, and fixing my eating habits helped me a lot. The journey ahead is long, but I’m learning to appreciate the small victories and take pride in what I’ve achieved. Recognizing my progress and feeling a sense of accomplishment is crucial.
I know how this fatigue effects us individuals with a disability; you have more than one challenge to deal with but me with just one it drives me up the wall. Having a negative environment around you at home makes it worse. I wish I could just walk away without notice to a island where all those who are inspired live and I would be their King. Keep the faith and more power to you!