2015 is coming to an end & I felt writing few lines on my blog. People often ask me what happens in your mind…you always share what happens around you. Not sure if I shared enough about what happens inside my mind but here are some of the things that happened in my mind & around me in 2015.
1. Health- I did not take care of myself as much as I should have, first 8 months I had terrible migraines & in last few months of the year I had food poisonings. I ate outside a lot & I think my migraines are because of my long hair. I love my long hair but they seem to give more migraines!
2. Alcohol- I drank a lot during 2015 & tried a cigar. There are 3 incidences where I had terrible hang over but I loved each moment of it. No regrets here but I want to kick the habit off slowly. 1 or 2 drinks once a while is ok but 2015 seemed to be a weekly party. And I did not like my first smoke much.
3. running- hasn’t run at all but still I showed up for Airtel Hyderabad half marathon 2015 & successfully finished it. It was painful & I made a wonderful friend “Rekha”. She is my co-runner & there are some moments worth remembering from this run. I need to get back to running & I already started on that part.
4 Travel-I travelled to Sandiago, Pune, and Mumbai & Bangalore. All travels are part of attending an event or speaking at an event. There is my fair share of memories from each of these travels & I travelled alone to each place. Traveling is where I learn a lot & discover myself, when I travel I am someone else who observes the world with different perspectives.
5 Depression- depression, depression & depression I had enough of this. Almost each night & each weekend I spent in depression. If I don’t have enough work am depressed, am depressed because books are not engaging me, I am depressed because my visual impairment limits me some times etc. etc. there was lot of this during the second half of the year & I spoke to my mentors Shanti & Anju. I am working on my therapy, it’s not easy but I am trying.
6. Job- I love my job as Digital Accessibility consultant, each day I feel that I am making an impact by making digital world little more accessible. But there are times I hated to go to work, I felt like quitting or moving out of the company. I kept to my job & performing as best as I can.
7. Entrepreneurship- I quit & gave up. I failed a lot in life & I really never made it as an entrepreneur. I shut the digital marketing consulting & training that I tried so hard building. I felt it is not with-in me, I am not sure what went wrong but each moment I felt the forces of the nature were against me. I want to try something in manufacturing in future & want to give the world of entrepreneurship another try.
8. friends- I have few close friends in life “Deepa, Raghu, Gunjan, Kameshwari, Sreechand” they were there whenever I wanted them beside me. I talk to them regularly over phone or skype. Keeping in touch constantly helped during my bad mood swings. I bitch a lot & they patiently listen…sometimes I just want people to listen to me.
9. Love-I never had a girlfriend & when I told her that I loved her she politely refused. Then things became weird, we don’t speak now. Decision from my end & no regrets because I told her whatever I wanted to tell. This was traumatic too but I got Sirisha my sister to help me out.
10 Emotional- I never cried, even when the world was against me. But lately tears just flow out of my eyes; there are moments at night I break down. There is pain & sorrow in my heart that I feel but there was never any reason. I always thought I was emotion less but things seem to change here.
11. Money- I make enough to lead my life comfortably & I want more of it. I want to build a multimillion dollar company & provide employment to able people. I work hard each day to realize this dream & I am not materialistic. Can live with what I have comfortably & I save shrewdly.
12. Anger- there was lot of this during this year, I shouted at my mum, sister & at people I work with. I have the anger problem for a while & I work each day on it & sometimes I lose control.
13. Books- Read more than 60 books this year & I enjoyed most of them. Like always I read “The Alchemist” once again this year. It’s the first book I ever read & I always enjoy it again & again. Instead of reading thrillers in 2016 I decided to read lot on Philosophy & management.
14. Movies & music- Watched 3 movies on YouTube & listened to a lot of music during my travel to work. Did not experiment listening to any new albums, this is something I want to change in 2016. Without good video descriptions I really cannot enjoy movies.
15. Skills- haven’t learned any new skill during this year. This pains me a lot, I want to change this during 2016 & be more responsible for my skill development.
These are the 15 things that I can think that made a huge impact in my life in 2015, just look back in your own life & plan your 2016. I want to be a better person than what I am in 2015 & I already started the ground work. Just keep reading my blog & you can feel my life in my words.