November 2nd, 2024 — the day when my reports showed elevated creatinine concerning my nephrologist. My legs were swollen, and I could feel the water retention in my body. My doctor did not say for certain that I needed to start dialysis immediately — he gave some medication and asked me to see if the water would drain in the next few days. But somehow, I knew in my gut that it was time. The transplanted kidney was giving up, and there was not much that could be done medically. We had exhausted all options. I went through multiple rounds of immune-suppressing therapy, and it did not help much with the deteriorating kidney.
It has been one year since I am back on dialysis, and in this one year, life has changed dramatically. I was in emergency more times than I can count, rushed to the hospital multiple times gasping for breath, and there was a time when my medical team suspected a cardiac attack because I could not breathe. While I endured pain, I kept my spirit high, kept working my day job, and kept thinking what I could do for the community.
There is pain. Hopelessness crept in more often than I can count, and there were nights when I cried silently because each day is exhausting — physically and mentally. But I’m still here. I know I haven’t figured it all out, but I show up each day. As they say in history — you can’t beat the person who shows up for practice every single day.
I survived one year — that means there is another to conquer.
If you’re reading this and going through your own battle — health, work, or life — keep showing up. You don’t have to be perfect or strong all the time. Just be present, one day at a time. Because sometimes, survival itself is strength.
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