Yesterday evening, an old friend called and shared that he is considering embarking on his own entrepreneurial venture. With all the entrepreneurial spirit I possess, I wholeheartedly supported him and assured him that I would be by his side throughout the journey. During our conversation, the topic shifted to some mutual acquaintances who would be joining him on this journey. My immediate reaction was that I no longer have any connection with these individuals. I explained that while I can offer my knowledge, insights, and connections, I do not wish to associate with those who have caused me emotional and psychological harm.
My friend, being the advocate he is, tried to convince me that it has been over two years since those events occurred, and that I should forgive and start anew. He mentioned that these people have been thinking about me and desire an opportunity to reconcile.
However, I am someone who invests wholeheartedly in relationships, and when I decide to remove people or things from my life, it signifies the end. I believe that as adults, we make choices that serve our best interests, and these individuals made choices that significantly impacted my physical and mental well-being.
The emotional and psychological trauma I experienced even manifested as physical pain. It also permanently altered my personality and my approach to certain aspects of life. While some people support and uplift others, there are those who prioritize their self-interests above everything else. There is nothing inherently wrong with prioritizing self-interest and well-being, but there are more respectful ways to communicate that their interests do not align with what I have to offer. Instead, they chose the easy way out by ghosting and lying.
Perhaps they now regret their actions or simply wish to start fresh, but over the past two years, I have built rules and boundaries around myself. Personally, my life has become more peaceful, and I cherish the moments of tranquility without unnecessary drama. I also believe it is time to focus on the future rather than reconnecting with the past. I have taken a thousand steps forward, and I feel that the future is the path I should follow.
I would agree with you but not whole heartedly; because everyone deserves a second chance. I know it’s harder to trust someone who has done you wrong in the past but by forgiving you are giving them another chance. The word forgiving has the word giving in it. Think about it and may be try to accomodate what is; and if it aligns with your thoughts and will, go ahead and forgive else as you say move on!
Never have I understood the word “forgiveness”; we use it so loosely! There can be no second chance for those whose actions caused me severe anxiety and panic attacks, resulting in blood clots in my knees and wrists, leading to temporary loss of mobility and ongoing health challenges later. It took a great deal of healing to move on without holding grudges or harboring venomous feelings towards these individuals. Having them in my life would be akin to inviting back those negative experiences and energies.